The Saturday Seven - #39
Zero. Zip. Zilch. Nada. Nothing. That's what I got rid of this past week. And I'm just kind of beyond feeling bad about it, and beyond being down on myself for never posting a Saturday Seven on Saturday anymore.
Life feels a little complicated these days, in a deep and slightly subtle way. On the surface I'm dealing with all the same chaos and busyness and happy stuff as always, more or less. In a more interior way, though, there are some small shifts (in a good direction), and also some old griefs and struggles that relate directly to how I deal with possessions. My mom is very ill these days, and while her diagnosis is not yet known (a recurrence of her cancer is a possibility), just the fact of her being sick again triggers old sadness and fear. So much of my relationship with stuff is bound up with my relationship with my mother, in ways that I can't always make sense of.
The Seven Things Project is explicitly about getting rid of things I already have. A bigger issue for me, though, is dealing with the acquisition and accumulation of new things. I find myself wondering how I am really simplifying by getting rid of stuff when the fact is I haven't quit buying new stuff.
Except in one area: clothes. Since signing the Wardrobe Refashion pledge in February, I haven't bought a single new item of clothing for myself (except the allowable: shoes [1 pair] and undergarments; I will also be buying a new swimsuit soon). When I first signed up, I did it for two months. Then I re-upped for another 2 months. As of June 1, I am signing on for (*gulp*) 6 months. It feels really good to make this effort, and I feel so much self-sufficient when I make my own duds. Truth be told, though, if I never made or bought another item of clothing, I could probably make do with what is in my closet(s) for a long, long time. I really, really need to get rid of much more than I already have. I just find it so difficult, even more so then I realized.
I suppose I am doing better in other areas, too, overall. It's just never easy, at least not for me. I think I've always had a vision that if I could embrace "simplicity" as a whole-life concept, I would also have a simpler life. But the older I get, the more I realize that life is probably always just going to be a bit messy, and difficult, and that no matter how much stuff I get rid of and how little stuff I own, I will never feel like I'm in some sort of balanced, harmonious, control over life. Because that's not how life works. The problem really isn't stuff, per se, is it?
So those are my rambled thoughts for this week.
Total for this week: 0.
Total so far: 352.